You're awesome, man!
by gackt groupie
Summary: Britt and Kato decide to celebrate their most recent brush with death with alcohol. Lots of alcohol. Cogs begin to turn and things happen. Like dominoes.


Tonight's run had been great. Fucking fantastic even. What had started out as a routine mugging had quickly turned into a full-on street wide brawl. Four punks with an attitude had multiplied into fifteen, maybe twenty pissed off gangsters. Four machine guns in four black suburbans didn't even come close to a match against the Black Beauty in all her glory. With Kato behind the wheel she effortlessly blew them all to bits before roaring smugly back to the hideout. He and Britt gave their triumphant war cry and laughed at the death they had just wriggled out of yet again.

Tonight they would celebrate.

Which is what they were doing now inside of the glorious garage. They hadn't changed their clothes, or washed the dirt, ash and various debris from their faces that accumulated from the multiple explosions. They hadn't even gotten out of the car, yet Britt waved a near empty bottle of scotch above his head as he sang a drunken duet with a swaying Kato. Britt's tie had somehow found itself around Kato's forehead, while his own hat lay awkwardly atop Britt's which was still on his head. Together they quite loudly massacred Queen's "We are the Champions" before falling into fits of laughter, prodding each other in the ribs in between giggles.

"Ya know..." Britt began, snickering. "That iss the lamest song eh-ver tuh sing...ever."

Kato snorted and shook his head.

"It's lame to say 'lame'. Nobody sez 'lame' anymore, man...you..so lame."

"Yea, and yooou would know what's lame and what's not right? -chop-super-guy-thing.."he slurred, miming karate moves while making ridiculous noises. His partner snickered and snatched the bottle away from him and took a swig.

"Well yea while you were all _pew, pew! Pew pew pew!"_ Kato pointed his 'handgun' and shot his partner repeatedly as he was being drunkenly karate chopped. After several minutes of this they fell into another fit of giggles.

"God man, this is great. Tonight was great. You're great! Look! Look at this!" Britt exclaimed proudly, tugging his friend towards him with an arm around his shoulders. He banged his hand on the dashboard.

"Look, look! You made this..you made it all! You took an already _awesome _car and made it like...like" he momentarily lost his train of thought as he tried to find the right words.

"The-the Batmobile..._sucks_ compared to this car! If the Black Beauty and the Batmobile fought...the Beauty would totally bend that piece of shit over and make it her _bitch!_"

"Yea! She would!" Kato welled with pride at his own creation. Brick sighed, then lovingly kissed his hand and slapped it onto the dashboard again.

"Man yer awesome." He said.

"No, you..you're awesome." Kato argued, shaking his head.

'Nuh-uh, no, I mean it! Yer the reason we've made it so far, man... I mean..all this cool shit you made..we woulda been dead if not for all this. All we been through...and... I love you, man..."he blurted. It was quiet in the car for a moment before Kato reached for the bottle again.

"...I think you've had too much to drink. You-you're wasted." he slurred.

"Yea? You are too!"

"I am not!"

"Yea you are...! Look-look at you!"

"You don' know what you are talkin about!" Kato protested. They glared at each other neither one able to sit up without swaying. Soon Britt groaned and bowed his head.

"Shit..maybe I am..."

Kato just sat there, unable to support his spinning head. They both leaned against the headrests. Soon Britt began to doze, the hats finally toppling off his head. Kato stayed awake. He watched the man beside him steadily lose consciousness, vaguely aware of his own surprise that their masks managed to stay on during all this. His partner's head tilted towards him in the seat, his breathing steady and slow. He snorted and licked his lips in his sleep. Kato's eyes caught every movement. That innocent flick of his tongue across his lips struck Kato with a sudden unexplainable and irresistible urge. Too drunk to question such a strong urge, he leaned over to his partner...and covered his lips with his own. The kiss was light, hesitant almost in it's gentleness, as if Kato ever had to hesitate about anything. But this...was a delicate situation somehow. This wasn't something that could be handled with the full brunt.

Britt twitched in his sleep, vaguely aware of the sensation on his lips. He cracked open an eye and saw Kato.

"What're you doin?" he muttered, his voice thick with alcohol and fatigue. Kato started and jerked away. The sudden movement forced Britt's eyes open. What'd he panic for? It didn't hurt, what he was doing...if anything it felt kinda good.

"What...why'd you stop?" he continued.

Kato's eyebrow raised in surprise. Not wanting to argue, he again indulged himself. This time he leaned in closer, pressing his lips harder. Britt reciprocated, slowly at first, but steadily more and more fervent as his second wind set in. Kato licked eagerly at his lips, pleading entrance before waging a clumsy war of domination. Britt, being far drunker than he was, lost quickly and his mouth was affectively plundered. He didn't mind though. Instead he simply reached out, grasped the back of Kato's head and pulled him closer. The man in black responded by crawling (with less than his usual grace) over the middle compartment into Britt's lap. His foot triggered the Ben-hur, but was left unnoticed. Kato palmed his partner's face in his hands and continued to kiss him. Britt let out a deep exhale and ran his hands up to grasp the slim hips grinding so nicely into his crotch. The fingers dug, pinning the smaller man into his lap. Then he did something wholly surprising to his eager partner: he thrust his clothed crotch into the soft ass that rested upon it, eliciting a low growl from Kato. The karate master bowed his head and sank his teeth into Britt's chin before traveling to his jawline. Britt groaned, then let out a chuckle.

"Kato yer such a pervert."

"So are you." he said quickly. "Lay down."

"Huh?"

Kato lifted off him slightly and shoved him to the side, practically throwing him onto the seat. Almost immediately hands began to travel southward, Kato fumbling with Britt's belt. He crushed their lips together, teeth gnashing. He devoured the man below him hungrily as the belt was yanked from their loops and shoved carelessly onto the dashboard. He palmed the hardening crotch, curling his fingers and coaxing it to full attention. Britt made a noise in his mouth that vibrated down his throat before transferring itself to a shiver down Kato's spine. His heart was beginning to race, his vision going red. He saw his target, knew what he wanted, new what he had to do.

Britt's head swam, but he was still aware of how cool the air was against his suddenly exposed erection. Something in the back of his mind recognized that something was wrong with this situation, but for the life of him he couldn't gather enough brain cells together to figure out _what. _

By now Kato was past foreplay, he wanted release _now. _With astonishing grace he slinked out of his pants and tugged his tie loose. He leaned down and kissed his partner fully, embellishing it with teasing flicks of his tongue against lips.

"Get ready." he whispered. Britt pulled away from the kiss slightly, blinking in surprise.

"For what- ah!" he gasped and arched when Kato descended upon his straining cock with a singular swoop. He bit his lip and grabbed the slim hips that hesitated above him before they began to move.

Kato's breath temporarily left him at the sensation. Behind the mask his eyes screwed shut as he adjusted before slowly rising a few inches up the shaft and dropping down again. The fingers on his hips tensed, and the two men shared a mutual groan. Kato set a slow pace, roughly rising and descending upon him, his breath coming in short pants. Britt shivered as the tiny puffs of Kato's breath tickled his ear and neck. He thrust his hips up, his hands guiding Kato into more of a roll. Kato hissed and grasped Britt's bottom lip with his teeth. Their pace quickened, their breathing growing harsher. The Beauty began to rock, her indestructible windows fogged completely opaque. The two men inside grunted as they rutted. Kato pulled away from the kiss suddenly and sat up, resting his hands on Britt's vested chest and snapping his hips hard enough for the man to smack the top of his head on the door.

"Ow Kato, damn-"

"Shut up.." Kato gritted through clenched teeth, a slight growl rumbling in his throat. His head was spinning again, and this time not from the alcohol. Soon Britt caught up with the new rhythm and added to it with his own thrusts, bouncing his sidekick on top of him. Kato cried out, Mandarin flowing from his mouth in an incomprehensible stream. He felt the pressure building inside, each stroke of that one tiny spot inside him reddening his gaze further. Nails dug into his hips, surging him on with still increased abandon. When the red tunnel in his eyes finally closed he arched, digging his nails into Britt's vest as he came hard. Britt yanked him back down, not quite done. He crushed their lips together and began to pound into him, forcing weak cries from his partner. Soon enough he too came with a feral grunt, his entire body curling around the man lying on top of him. They both panted together, their hearts racing. Kato rested his head on Britt's chest, beginning to doze, the other man soon to follow. Within a few minutes the Black Beauty was still and silent (except for her still spinning Ben-Hurs) as both her villianous heroes fell into slumber, the events preceding this night forgotten. After all, there would always be more thugs to demolish.

Words could never describe the resulting chaos of the next morning when the two woke up with no pants to speak of and the unmistakable scent of sex stifling them.


End file.
